What is Emotional Dysregulation?
If you have big emotions, you’ve probably internalized messages from others that you’re “too sensitive” or “overreacting.” Emotional dysregulation isn’t about being too delicate or too reactive. It’s about your nervous system having a hard time shifting gears.
Why It Happens (And Why It’s Not Your Fault)
Thunk of it like this: your emotions are like waves in the ocean. For most people, the waves come and go. They might get splashed, but they can keep swimming. For you, the waves might suddenly turn into a storm. You’re not choosing the storm. It just hits, making it hard to stay afloat—you’re afraid you’ll drown.
This can show up as:
- Crying easily or feeling super sad all of a sudden
- Anger that feels like it explodes before you can stop it
- Anxiety that floods your whole body
- Feeling totally shut down or frozen
None of this means you’re broken. It often comes from things like:
- Past trauma, chronic stress and PTSD
- Growing up in environments where emotions weren’t safe or welcome
- Having a brain that just processes emotions differently (like ADHD or autism)
How Therapy Can Help
Emotional dysregulation is something you can work with. It’s not a character flaw—it’s a nervous system pattern. And patterns can shift. You can learn skills, make changes, and build a life that feels safer and more steady for your heart. But the first step is knowing that this isn’t your fault. You’re not “too much.” You just haven’t been given the right tools and practices yet. And you deserve them.
If you feel like your emotions run the show—and not in a fun way—therapy can help you learn how to be with your feelings instead of being swept away by them. Here are 4 ways you might benefit from therapy if you struggle with emotional dysregulation:
- Safe space co-regulation. Therapy creates a space just for you where you’re not judged or told to “calm down”, reminding you what safety feels like so you can reclaim it in your nervous system. When you feel safe, big emotions are easier to manage. Humans regulate better with other humans. A good therapist becomes a calm presence you can borrow from until your system learns how to do it more easily on its own. (This especially powerful if no one helped you do that as a child.)
- Unpack the roots. Sometimes emotional dysregulation isn’t just about today, it’s about what your nervous system learned growing up or through past trauma. Therapy can help you gently explore these roots so you can begin to heal, not just cope.
- Understand your emotions. Even when they feel horrible, your feelings are messengers. Therapy helps you slow things down so you can understand what your emotions are really trying to say and learn how they are trying to help you get your needs met. When you know what your feelings need, you can respond reflectively instead of reactively.
- Build emotional regulation tools. Therapy give you actual concrete strategies (personalized for your system and psyche) to help your body and brain regulate when you’re overwhelmed—like grounding skills, breathwork, nervous system resets, and communication tools.
Therapy Doesn’t Fix You, Because You’re Not Broken
It helps you understand yourself, respond with more kindness, and slowly shift the patterns that are making life harder than it needs to be. You deserve support that feels safe, steady, and respectful of everything you’re carrying.
Support for Emotional and Mental Health in Ottawa and Virtually Across Canada
We have Registered Counselling Therapists and Psychotherapists who specialize in supporting highly sensitive people, complex mental health, trauma narrative, neurodivergent people, and people who experience emotional dysregulation. Sessions are available in person in Ottawa, Ontario or virtually from anywhere in Canada.